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Who is We?

Author: Stacey Druss Issue: 2023-05-17

Who is We?

by Stacey Druss

On Monday, Stewart Levine was kind enough to present participants of The Marley Project with his Ten Essential Elements of Agreements, and offered to help us draft a proposal outlining what it was that we wanted to achieve. It prompted me to reflect upon two questions that had appeared on the OGM mailing list. They were ones that have often been heard in the various Zoom calls I attend; “Who is we?” and “What is the truth?”

I have long believed that our (we who are having these discussions) inability to effectively answer these questions, is due in part to our not maintaining the recognition that both are fluid. For example, the “we” who showed up to our first Sensemaking call, later changed to Sensedoing, and now graciously named by the team, The Marley Project in honor of my late beloved pet, is not the same we, as it was in early January when it first originated. In fact one of the main organizers, no longer attends. Does that change who we are? Well yes and no. Or maybe I should more accurately answer, “Yes and no, and maybe, and I’m not sure.”

I know “we” are still people whom I have come to know and respect. I know “we” would all like to see good in the world occur. For me, at this moment, that is enough. What I don’t know is why the other members first came, why they continue to come, what their expectations are, and if they’re being satisfied. Maybe those answers have changed as circumstances have. I know for me, things have shifted and new possibilities appear to be emerging, both within and outside of the project. Perhaps the same is true for some of them too. I don’t think we all have the same answers, but I don’t know. I want to know.

The “truth” of what the project is, has shifted as well, (evidenced by the departure of some, and addition of others). The players in the room are slightly different, which is destined to change the perceived view of the truth. (In this case “truth” simply being the reason we are gathered.) What is the expectation for each of us, at this moment? What is visible now, that wasn’t earlier on? Again, I don’t know for certain. I want to know.

It feels like this might be the crucial moment where we can choose to take a breath and reflect upon what Stewart acknowledges is critical; “Making explicit what’s implicit.”

Why is this important? Why is this what I choose to write about?

Well, Stewart noted his belief that differences are good; it’s conflicts that are not. He stated,

“Differences only turn into conflict when people become identified with their own particular positions.”

And I couldn’t agree more.

But what if their own positions have not been made explicit? Maybe it’s something that has never been openly discussed. Maybe they haven’t even consciously explored it with themselves. Perhaps it’s easier that way.  It sounds so obvious, but in a world where we’ve been conditioned to “DO”, many of us still aren’t quite sure of the WHY.  And that, I believe will be an important element in designing a new system that, to echo the words of Shariff Abdullah, “Works For All”. There’s a magical quality to the letter Y. What would a peace sign be without it?

On Tuesday I had the honor of being on a call with Meg Wheatley. She asks the question, “Who do you want to show up as? She started the call with a grounding exercise, not just asking us to take our seat, but to take our “place”. I appreciated being directed in that way, fully aware that implicit in those words was the implication that it’s up to me to find the place where I belong. Only by fully knowing who I am, more importantly who I choose to show up as, will I wind up exactly where I want to be, And where I believe I will be of greatest service to the collective. It really is a journey.

There are questions that still need to be asked before we can know if we agree. Some of them will feel uncomfortable at first. The more we can remove ourselves from the judgment we have attached to those answers, the easier it will become; the more likely we will grow to appreciate differences.

Some may fear the answers and others will choose not to know. That is a choice each of us is entitled to make. I’ve always been a curious child. I’ve always wanted to know why. In fact part of what I needed to learn was how to accept not knowing. I needed to trust and have faith that there was a creative power at work greater than I could see. I still struggle with that sometimes.

I’m likely more influenced by what Marianne Williamson describes as our greatest fear, than by the sentiment expressed by Maya Angelo as to why the caged bird sings. That’s a privilege that’s been given me through the gift of Father time, and the grandmothers, mothers, and big sisters who have come before me. I always knew that I could sing, yet I continued to receive the subliminal message, “Not too loudly.” And I listened because that’s what good girls do; or at least that’s what I was shown. To quote a character from The Quest of Rose, “This stops NOW.”

My voice is loud and strong now, although it still cracks at times. I’ve worked hard within myself to make explicit what was implicit. Many of you have worked hard as well. Let’s band together and continue this work of “Asking”, fully remembering that Courage is contagious and Love will find a way. All we need to do is clear the path and make the unseen, seen.

This post was inspired by the letters J, M, and S, and readers like you.

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