Dare Not to Compare
Author: Todd Hoskins Issue: 2023-08-16
Dare Not to Compare
by Todd Hoskins
I’ve been pondering what it means to be a digital nomad without bringing colonizing energy here in Costa Rica. Over the past few months, I’ve posited that showing respect to the local culture and history may be important when it comes to language and food. Now I’m ready to look at comparisons.
I have been avoiding writing this essay. First, it’s a lesson for me that committing to a series of essays may not always be the best idea. But also, how do I write an essay on comparisons without making comparisons?
Minimizing comparisons has been a mission I’ve been on for a number of years, so it’s no surprise that I found a way to incorporate this on a list of “things to consider.” Bear with me.
To compare is human. It’s part of how we’re wired to understand the world. Neuroscientists are learning more about the precuneus, a region of the parietal cortex in the brain involved in visuospatial integration, that is particularly enlarged in humans. The precuneus may well be the comparison center of the brain.
The precuneus helps you to think about yourself and the world around you. It is like a tour guide that helps you to make sense of all the information that you are taking in. It helps you to compare things, to understand other people, to plan for the future, and to remember the past.
This hidden region is also heavily involved in tool creation and language. So from my vantage point, the precuneus functions as, and symbolizes, the glory and frailty of humanity. We make amazing technology! We talk, and publish, and plan endlessly! We are great at comparing! And we don’t always live and respond in the present moment.
[Image not included in the current archive. Images may be included in the future.]
So what’s my deal with comparing? It started with feeling like competitive analyses in the organizational world were counter-productive. And then watching young people with social media feel like they were never measuring up. Then realizing how much of my own understanding was trying to comprehend one thing by setting it next to another.
What if our evolutionary strength is also a weakness?
When I compare, I often fail to see the uniqueness of what I’m encountering. Instead of seeing the tree, or the person, or the business model for what it is, I’m trying to pull up my memories and understanding of what I know and put this being or idea on the “right shelf.” When I’m doing this, I can fail to see what is new or emergent in what is before me.
The etymologies of “precuneus” and the “parietal” cortex–where the precuneus is located–are revealing, with Latin roots meaning “wedge” and “wall.” I would say our comparisons create separation–a wedge or wall to what we are encountering. Sometimes that separation is a necessary part of understanding, but it’s also overused at the expense of experiencing “what is.”
So what does this have to do with living and working abroad? Costa Ricans, or *Ticos, *love their country and culture. When a visitor or Gringo feels inclined to talk about the US Highway system, or drive-through windows, or maple trees, or cable news networks, you may find an interested audience.
But more often I feel their disappointment, as if they wish to say, “Do you truly see how we live? What we’ve chosen? Or can you only understand our ways of being in contrast to what is North American or European?”
There are far fewer ATM’s and gas stations in Costa Rica.
(See how easy it is to make a comparison? But I can’t help it. My experience is cash and gasoline are available when and where you need it most of the time. When my experience is different, I notice).
It’s common to see a line of cars at the *gasolinera *or people lined outside the bank. In those lines, strangers often talk, smile, and nod at one another. Rarely is there a complaint, or signs of impatience even. Would they be showing frustration if they knew North American cities had ATM’s on nearly every corner?
I would guess that jealousy would be rare, probably, for most northern conveniences. *Ticos *mostly enjoy life as it is. They don’t need to hear how it could be better, or even how it is different somewhere else unless they’re asking. So I tell myself,
“Get consent to share stories from your homeland.” And I tell myself, “I don’t have to compare everything all the time.”
[Image not included in the current archive. Images may be included in the future.]
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