On Fixing, On Rescuing

Author: Patti Cobian Issue: 2024-04-17

by Patti Cobian

Fixing and rescuing savior behavior the sly operator wears a clumsy mask

I do, I did! I changed, I fixed!

I owned it and I made it mine

Welcome to the ego's playground I'll fix the broken! I'll solve your problem! There are no other ways here but mine

A prize to claim the hero! finally regarded with appreciation

Dance in celebration! But the mask slips, and now we see beneath a dark tenderness that lies, disguised,

beneath the striving, and the weight of our grief.

We turn away from those dark soft, vulnerable centers, the black holes

born of a need that hadn't been met, a frantic filling of what should have been

in another time an earlier year

But we hide the need

Ashamed of the need, unaware of the need, knowing only it's ache and depth in unguarded moments, brief.

We, the creators of worlds, destroying our own with all of the black holes only visible in the absence of what has been taken, taken, taken

Consumption is the game

isolation, the finishing line

and separation, the song

on the silent lips of every dead body corpses scattered a wasteland of death, when there is no more to extract.

We exert in the absence of trust,

and side-by-side, do we deny the invitation that is our birthright:

back into the depths to know our own tenderness so that our true nature can be born

In the soil of a forgotten garden, secrets are buried the seeds of salvation for all

planted in our depths seeping deeper and deeper into our tissues forgotten, until they rise again

malignant growth organs, revolt

becoming the very fibers of our deepest questions:

What is our place in the world? but also what is our place within ourselves? These tired bodies burn with a question that throbs and aches:

Where do I belong?

And so it is in our quest to belong, we penetrate and we burrow, deeply, we extract the life from another until they are shriveled

so that we might enjoy a moment of fullness – fleeting, heart beating – and in this way, for just a moment

we at least feel sure about something.

Related: